My god, where did the year go?! Even better, where the hell have I been all of this time. Well the last few years have not been the most endearing nor the easiest for me. In fact, transitioning was the single, hardest thing I have ever decided to do as long as I can remember. Worst of all, I had to learn that when you’re cornered with no where to run for comfort, your only choice is to either let the negativity burry you alive or dig your way out for air. After three years, I have learned quite a lot about myself and what truly motivate me to keep fighting for that I love doing, despite the obstacles.
After 10 years being on my own, my family and I have again reunited. Through them I have gained the strength to learn self love and confidence I lacked for so long. Family is an interesting support system to have. They can drive you absolutely bonkers at times. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the one who was going crazy , but there is nothing in the world that can bring me down when I (now) have them to rely on. I no longer have to fight my battles alone; God I have fought so many. I thank god for that, and I am now the most proud, confident, and the most stable I have ever felt inside since my father passed ( I was 8). I now no longer need validity from anyone other than myself which allows me to freely express my thoughts and beliefs with such a freedom I never knew was there.
You all know I was this party animal turned to fitness junky. Wrong, I AM still a party animal who now takes great care of herself. Of course I have a passion for sculpting this body into an Alpha female with a booty as I practice obtaining self discipline; with tendency of torturing myself competing in bodybuilding, but dammit I love it!! 2015-2017…GOD, those years truly tested my strength, my weaknesses and my character. I fell flat on my face in a big pile of bull crap and yet, here I am. Silently testing myself and turning obstacles into opportunities. Slowly but surely, my time will come.
Now, let’s talk about what the heck am I getting into. This Year, I took a break.
I rehabilitated my metabolism and found the right path to align my mind and spirit that allowed me to go back to the driven-Marie I used to be. I am also excited that I’m again leading others to their better, stronger versions of themselves. I learned how to ride a freaking motorcycle and can’t keep off it! I remember when I finally let free and started going 65 mph thinking I was the coolest cat on the road. BORING!! LOL . – Although it has been quite a long time since his passing, all I could think about was my dad who used to ride. I have for once, spent a lot of time forcing myself get back into what I love rather than spending it making others’ happy.
I have begun writing a cookbook of my Dieting Deliciously collection and could not be in a better head space. Scrappy’s Closet is making a comeback next Spring and I have my team of a good circle to thank for that. I may not be where I expected to be at this time of my life, but I’ve learned the best way to come out on top is to keep trying over and again. Eventually, my time will come.
Until next time,